he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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