Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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