No stitches, just platelets and will power
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
