Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
