Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
