We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
