You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
