just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
