I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
