Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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