So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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