im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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