Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
