i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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