please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
