i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize