WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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