ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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