he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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