well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize