Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
