Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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