oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
