$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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