That's when you crack a 10am beer
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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