Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize