Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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