You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
