"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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