Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
