Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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