Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry teh_lulz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(607): View more from New York

I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.

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(765): View more from Indiana

After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.

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(+61): View more from Australia

On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.

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