..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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