this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
