So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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