is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
