dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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