Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
soo... how was my night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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