We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
