Have you finally orgasmed yet?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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