I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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