i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
