Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Alive.
So much puke
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
