You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize