thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize