i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
