If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
