ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
