I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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