Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
