Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
