Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize