what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
