don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize