Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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