do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
