if you like me you must not know who I am
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
