Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
