there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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