I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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