Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
