so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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