Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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