Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
