All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
