I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
