Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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