If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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