a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
