Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
