Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
